


Loose Skirts

by WrenAndPoppy



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Bull's Chargers, Excessively Cute, F/M, Fluff, Gross, Krem and Merrill are Dorks, Language Kink, Romance, also they bang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 08:31:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10185158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrenAndPoppy/pseuds/WrenAndPoppy
Summary: A dalish mage by the name of Merrill is joining the Inquisition, and Krem can’t take his eyes off her.Okay look this is literally the highest concentration of disgusting romantic fluff that I have ever subjected the internet to.  If you want 4000 words of Krem and Merrill flirting like they’re in a risque romcom, this is the fic for you.  Also they bang.





	

Skyhold’s tavern was in an uproar as Krem stepped inside.  He could quickly see why.  Half of the Bull’s Chargers plus a dozen Inquisition soldiers were crowded around the bar, half of them singing out of key and the other half laughing and clacking wooden tankards against each other in toast.  Krem smiled as he shut the tavern door, keeping the chill mountain air locked outside.

“Krem!” Iron Bull bellowed from across the room.  “Get your ass over here, we’ve got a visitor!”

“And she’s famous!” Rocky added, wearing a second mustache of ale foam over his actual beard as he laughed.

Krem quickly picked out the newcomer.  An elf was perched daintily on a stool next to Iron Bull, clutching a tankard almost half her size and giving a flushed, bright-eyed smile to the assembled Chargers.  When her green eyes settled on Krem, she squeaked and buried her pink face in her ale.

“This is Merrill,” Iron Bull introduced as Krem walked up to the bar.  “We’re trying to teach her the Chargers song.  It’s… a work in progress.”

“We want taverns with ill-fitting clothing!” the elf added excitedly, waving her tankard.

Rocky peered at her.  “… We want what now?”

Iron Bull was rubbing a hand over his face.  “… Loose skirts, Merrill.  The song goes ‘loose skirts.’”

“Well, that’s what I said, isn’t it?”  The elf, Merrill, sipped her drink.  “Strange thing to want from a tavern.  You mercenaries have such interesting customs.”

Iron Bull heaved a long sigh.  He leaned towards Merrill’s pointy ear and whispered something.  Her green eyes lit up.

“Oooooooh, that makes much more sense!”

Krem had to smile.  He leaned on the bar where Cabot already had a drink poured for him.  “And where did this charmer come from?” he asked as he lifted the tankard towards Merrill in toast.

“Merrill’s from Kirkwall,” Iron Bull rumbled, ruffling his big hand through her short dark hair.  The little elf nearly fell over, giggling.  “One of Varric’s old friends.  She’s here to advise the Inquisitor on dealing with blood mages.  Don’t go spreading that around, though.”

Krem lowered his drink.  “Hold on.  You don’t mean the same Merrill from _Tales of the Champion?”_

“Oh, it’s not like I’m one of the important people – ”  Merrill blushed into her drink, clutching it with both hands.  “I just hit things when Hawke said so.”

Iron Bull cleared his throat loudly.  “Merrill, this is my Lieutenant, Cremisius Aclassi.”

“Nice to meet you.”  Krem held out a hand.  The elf’s cheeks were pink as she shook it.

“Y-you must be one of those warrior types,” Merrill rambled.  “You’ve got _very_ strong arms.”

“He’s got strong everything,” Iron Bull whispered to her loudly.  Krem groaned and withdrew his hand.

“The Chief thinks he’s funny.  I apologize in advance for his jokes.”  

Iron Bull snorted.  He leaned against the bar and lifted his tankard.  “Another round, guys?”

Merrill set her tankard down.  “I should be getting back to my quarters, it’s been a dreadfully long day of travel.”

Krem stood up from his chair so fast it almost fell over.  “Do you need someone to walk you back?”

“Oh no, I don’t think my sense of direction is _that_ awful – ”  Merrill shuffled her feet, her eyes locked on him, not taking a step closer to the door.  “I mean, those big walls won’t let me wander too far away, right?  How lost could I get?”

“Heh, you’d be surprised.”  Krem’s smirk vanished.  “Ah – not that I get lost in the Inquisition’s own castle.”

“N-no, no I suppose you wouldn’t.”  Merrill still wasn’t walking towards the door and still wouldn’t look away from his face.  She had the most stunning eyes he’d ever seen.  Like a forest, deep and green and full of life.  A man could get lost in there.

Krem cleared his throat.  “So, uh – are you leaving?”

He could hear Iron Bull’s hand slapping against his own face.

“O-oh, yes, I should – ”  Merrill finally stepped back, though she kept looking at him as she gestured vaguely.  “ – Should walk back to my room – ”

Merrill’s foot caught on a crooked floorboard, a very specific crooked floorboard that everyone in Skyhold referred to as “the drunk trap.”  Without thinking, Krem grabbed her arm and yanked her to her feet before she could fall.  Merrill sucked in a breath, bracing her hands against his armored chest plate.  For a moment, Krem swore he could hear her heart beating.  Though he’d only grabbed her wrist, somehow she was wrapped in his arms now, looking up into his face breathlessly.

“ … You all right?” Krem murmured.

Merrill gave him a shy smile.  Under the lines of her elven tattoos, her cheeks were rosy.  “If I was wearing a skirt,” she murmured, “it would be loose right now.”

Krem’s face heated and his eyes widened.  “Um– y-you what?”

Merrill stepped back, brushing herself off.  “I, um, I should really get going.  You have a lovely night, Cremisius.”

As though finally working up her resolve, Merrill turned and strode stiffly out of the tavern, breaking into a run as she stepped outside.  Krem sighed and stared after her as Iron Bull stepped next to him.

“Cute, right?” Krem ventured, trying to elbow Iron Bull.  His elbow bounced off.  “Merrill, I mean.  Wouldn’t mind spending more time with her.”

Iron Bull was giving him a look like he’d grown two heads.  “Are you still standing here?”

“Huh?”

“For shit’s sake, _go after her._ ”  Iron Bull slapped a shield-sized hand against Krem’s back, nearly knocking him to the floor.  “Stop eyefucking each other and do it properly.”

Krem staggered, yelping as Bull gave him another shove.

“I don’t even know if she _wants_ –”

_“Then.  Go.  Ask.”_

With the help of a table, Krem found his footing again.  He shot Iron Bull a glare.  “You’re a menace, Chief.”

Iron Bull sipped his drink.  “You’ll thank me in the morning.”

Krem scoffed, his face red as he marched out of the Tavern.  Dalish whistled loudly before he slammed the door shut.

—-

It didn’t take long to find her.  Merrill stood on the green outside the tavern, staring up at the main keep with something like dread.  She perked up as she caught sight of him.

“Oh Creators, I’m really relieved you came after me – ”  Merrill’s slim fingers were fidgeting with her green scarf, her cheeks rosy in the brisk evening wind.  “You know how I said that I could find my way home?  I was wrong.  Very wrong.”

In spite of his racing heart, Krem smiled.  “Big walls didn’t help you?”

“Ah – no.  No, it turns out that I won’t be able to see them once I’m indoors and I’m scared to go inside.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll walk you back.”

Merrill’s sweet face lit up.  “Oh thank you!”

“Don’t mention it.”  Krem cocked his head before striding towards the main keep.  “It’s never a chore to have a pretty girl on my arm.”

Merrill fell in stride beside him.  “I suppose this makes you my knight in shining armor.”

Krem tsked and brushed off his breastplate.  “Wouldn’t call it shining.  And I’m not even in my full armor right now.”

“Oh that’s fine, you can wear as little as you like, I don’t mind,” Merrill said quickly.

Krem almost tripped over his own feet.  

—-

With Merrill’s shaky assistance, Krem guided them back to her quarters.  He opened the door for her, but waited outside the threshold as she stepped inside.

“I swear didn’t get lost on purpose just to lead you back to my room,” Merrill insisted quickly.  She waved her hand, and the cold fireplace crackled into life.  When she turned to face him, her eyes were wide and earnest.  “I really am that bad at directions.”

Krem waited at the door.  “ … Does that mean you don’t want me in your room?”

“Oh no no no, I rather do want you in my room!”  Merrill rushed over to him.  “You’re very sweet and handsome and have such strong arms and… oh Creators I’m rambling.  Please stay?”

Her dark hair looked so soft in the fire light.  Krem wasn’t sure if he’d ever find his way out of those green eyes.  He swallowed.

“… Can I kiss you?” he murmured.

In response, Merrill placed her hands on his metal chest plate and pressed her lips against his.

She tasted like ale and smelled like the woods.  Krem groaned and pulled her close, his heart racing with need.  Her slim arms wrapped around him as they kissed, her soft chest pressed against his armor.  He wanted kiss every inch of her and make her feel like the world was spinning overhead and never let her go.

Merrill’s hips wiggled against his, her legs spreading so his thigh could slide between them.  Krem groaned and grabbed her hips and dragged her closer.  Her hips felt good in his hands, just like the heat between her legs felt good against his thigh.  He shifted his leg, sliding it against her, and was rewarded with a shiver and a whine.  Merrill’s own thigh brushed between his legs as she twitched, and Krem broke the kiss sharply.

In a heartbeat, Merrill’s arousal was replaced with wide-eyed concern.  “Oh no.  Did I do something wrong?”

“H-hardly,” Krem laughed, but his voice broke over the word.  

“Then… I’m going to keep kissing you, if that’s all right.”

“That’s fine, just – Just so you know – before we –”  Krem shivered as Merrill planted delicate kisses on his neck.  “Y-you are _not_ making this easy…”

“Mmm?”  Merrill nipped his ear.  “Before we what?  What are your plans for me, you big tough mercenary?”

Krem cursed again and pushed her back, trying to catch his breath.

“As much as I want you getting into my pants…”  Krem took a deep breath, trying to focus on his words and not on the soft press of her body against his.  “I want you to know what you’re going to find in there.”

Merrill blinked.  “ … It’s not a squirming mass of tentacles, is it?”

“What?”  Krem cringed.  “No, it’s – ”

“Mandibles?  Oooh, I can’t stand spiders.”

“No, just a regular – ”

“Regular?”

“Normal – ”

“Well, it must be a little special if it’s yours – ”

“Cunt,” Krem finished.  His heart pounded and he held his breath as he watched her face.

Merrill shrugged.  “Oh, that makes sense then.  I was wondering.”

For a moment, Krem’s stomach lurched.  He pulled back before she could kiss him again.  

“ … Is it that obvious?” he murmured.

Merrill blinked.  “Well, I don’t feel a boner poking me right now, so either you’re not actually that excited or you’ve got different equipment.”  She bit her finger nervously.  “ … Oh dear, I do hope you’re excited?”

“You… ”  Krem rubbed a hand over his face.  “ … You didn’t know before just now?”

“Not a clue.”

“And you don’t mind?”

“Why should I mind?”

Krem pulled her into a deep, searing kiss.  He tangled his hand in her dark hair, wrapping his other arm around her slim body and yanking her close.  Merrill let out a noise between a squeak and a moan, then she purred against him.  She was breathless as they separated.

“You don’t need to worry,” Krem murmured.  “I _am_ excited.”

Merrill bit her flushed lip.  “Mm?”

“Let me show you how much.”

“O-oh, I really hope we both fit on the bed, it’s dreadfully small – ”

“I’m not sure I have the patience to get you there, sweetheart.”

“ … Oh.   _Oh.”_

—-

The sun rose beautifully over the Frostback Mountains, but Krem wasn’t outside to see it.  He still wasn’t outside as the Chargers gathered in the training yard for morning drills.  The whole crew had stretched out their sleep-stiff limbs and were already sparring by the time Krem dragged himself out of the main keep and tried to slip quietly into the throng of wooden weapons and sweaty training clothes.

It didn’t work.

As Iron Bull caught sight of Krem, his craggy face broke into a huge grin.

“Well well well!” he bellowed loud enough for the whole training yard to pause.  “We weren’t sure you’d be showing up today, Creme de la Krem!”

Krem winced as he leaned against the wall and began stretching out his legs.  “Morning, Chief.  You’re chipper.”

“So, how’d it go?”  Iron Bull lowered his voice to a reasonable volume as he leaned against the wall next to Krem.  “Did you steal the elf’s heart?”

Krem flinched.  “Please not this joke again.”

“I’d say that makes you a pretty smooth… ”

“Chief – ”

“ _Kreminal_.”

“ … You’re lucky you’re cute, Chief.”

“Yes I am, Krem.”  Iron Bull heaved a satisfied sigh.  “Yes I am.”

Krem glared, but couldn’t keep it up for long.  He smiled as he stretched his other leg.

“ … You’re not the only one’s lucky,” he admitted.

“ _Hahahahahahahha_!”  Iron Bull’s laugh echoed off the walls and he clapped Krem on the shoulder almost hard enough to topple him.  “Good work!”

“Wait until I armor up before beating the piss out of me,” Krem begged.

—-

The next sunrise brought a new mission for the Chargers.  Merrill caught Krem in the shadow of the porticullis before he could set foot outside the castle.

“You come back safely,” she begged.  She stood in his path rigidly, not letting him look away from her eyes.

Krem smiled.  He shifted the heavy maul on his shoulder before tangling his armored hand in her soft dark hair and pulling her into a kiss.  Rocky whistled, but Krem didn’t care.

“I’ll come back,” he promised against her lips, quietly enough for only her to hear.  “I’m your knight in shining armor, remember?”

She managed a weak smile at that.  “I-it’s a lot shinier in the sunlight.”

“You’ll see me sparkling from a mile away when I come back.”  Krem stepped back from her.  “Soon as I step through the gates, I’ll have another kiss for you.”

Merrill fidgeted with her scarf, smiling softly.  “I know where you should place it.”

Krem’s face was pink as the Chargers rolled out of Skyhold and onto the road.  He’d never had his heart pounding this fast before a mission before.

—-

The mission was short, but not short enough.  

By the time the Chargers were marching up the mountain path towards Skyhold, boots crunching in the snow, Krem could scarcely think about anything but Merrill’s eyes.  His breath steamed, his limbs weary from a long week of travel as he dragged himself up the snowy path with his brothers in arms.  The sun hadn’t quite cleared the mountains, and the valley was locked in silent snowy gloom.

Thinking about Merrill’s eyes was a little less flustering than thinking about what kind of kiss he planned to give her.

As the Chargers passed a snowy training yard nestled between the pines, Cullen’s voice rang out sharply in the frozen pre-dawn air.

“ _Deflect,_ don’t try to barrel through it!  Those aren’t normal fire blasts, they’re fueled by blood magic.  They’re going to hit a lot harder and with a lot more hunger.  Tilt your shield as you sidestep, give the fire a different path to take.  And whatever you do, _don’t_ deflect the fire right into your friend!”

Something made Krem perk up.  He glanced across the snowy field where a handful of Cullen’s soldiers were lined up with their shields lifted, the snow trampled around them.  A single slim figure stood across from the troops, her head held high, a boiling ball of fire crackling in her palm.

A grin broke across Krem’s face as Cullen called out again.

“All right, the sun’s almost up.  We’ll break here for the morning.  Go get some breakfast.”

The soldiers let out tired huffs and lowered their shields, dissolving from formation.  Cullen looked up as the Chargers strode by.

“Good to see the Chargers are back safely,” he called with a smile.  He nodded at the troops.  “Little training exercise, trying to give them all the blood magic experience we can.  Hard enough to do that safely.  It’s not a popular idea, so keep it quiet.”

Krem barely heard the words.  His gaze was locked on the slim elven mage who was sprinting across the frozen field towards them.

“Merrill,” he called, “I thought you’d be up at the ca–”

Krem’s words were smothered as he suddenly found his arms full of a tiny elf who was determined to drown him in her kiss.  A hungry groan slipped out of him before he could stop it and he yanked her body close.

Cullen huffed loudly and turned away with a red face.  “Maker’s breath.”

Merrill pulled back from Krem with a loud gasp, as though she hadn’t taken a breath since last she saw him.  

“I missed you,” she announced loudly, her cheeks red in the chilly air.

Iron Bull whistled.  “Damn.  Hope someone missed _me_ that much.”

Krem couldn’t stop smiling.  “Hey Chief?  Meet you at Skyhold.”

“Maker’s _breath,_ ” Cullen repeated, but Iron Bull just laughed.

Merrill smiled.  She grabbed Krem’s gauntlet-clad arm and began pulling him away from the Chargers.  Krem stumbled after her with a giddy grin, his boots thumping through the snow.

“Are you taking me somewhere?” Krem laughed as she tugged him towards the snow-covered pines.

Merrill’s eyes seemed to sparkle.  “I think the Commander will kick me out of the Inquisition’s army if I do anything more in front of him.”

“Oh, so there’s more you want to do to me?”

Merrill dragged Krem behind a tree, pushed him up against the frosty trunk, and kissed him again.  This time Krem growled and bit her lip, grabbing her waist and pinning her close.  Their shared breath steamed in the cool air when they separated, panting.

“Don’t I owe you a different kiss?” Krem teased.

Merrill bit her lip and dropped to her knees in the snow.  Krem almost swallowed his tongue.

“H-here?” he choked out.  “In the snow?”

“Oh, I’m not cold,” Merrill assured him.  She started unlacing his breeches.  “Are you?”

Krem panted as his skin was exposed to the chill mountain air.  Her soft lips were like fire against him, and his head fell back against the tree trunk.

“N-not at all.”

—

Days passed, and Krem spent more time in Merrill’s room than he did in his own.  In their time off, the Chargers absorbed Merrill into their ranks, sharing stories and battle lessons and drink after drink.  All the same, Krem knew he was in trouble when he saw Dalish and Merrill giggling together under the stairs of the tavern.  He grinned and stalked over to them.

“Are you two playing nice?” he chided, crossing his arms.

“Oh, Dalish is lovely,” Merrill swooned.  “I’ve been training with her all morning and I’m a sweaty mess.”

Krem chuckled.  “Not yet, you’re not.”  He froze with a blush and his gaze locked onto Dalish.

Dalish’s smile was pure trouble.  “Don’t stop on my behalf,” she insisted brightly.

Krem frowned.  “ … Don’t you have some arrows to shoot?  With your bow?  Which is your primary weapon?”

Dalish stuck out her tongue at him before prancing away.  Merrill giggled as she watched the other elf.

“She’s lovely, isn’t she?  I’m learning so much.”

“From Dalish?  Now I’m worried.  She’s a bad influence.”

Merrill wrapped her arms around him, leaning close to his lips and lowering her voice.  “Oh don’t worry, Cremisius Aclassi, you’re still my favorite Charger.”

“Ouch.  Full name.”  Krem smirked.  “I’m not in trouble, am I?”

Merrill bit her lip.  Her fingers drummed softly against his back.  “Would you like to be?”

—-

Once a week, in a sunny green corner of Skyhold, the Chargers would gather to sew patches onto their clothes and polish their armor and sharpen their weapons.  Rocky, Dalish, and Stitches had their projects scattered across a wooden table while Grim loomed silently in a nearby bush and Skinner leaned against the wall and examined her frightening array of knives.  Krem approached the little gathering gingerly before slipping into a seat across from Stitches.

“Psst.”  Krem leaned over the table.  “Dalish.  Stitches.”

The elf and human turned towards him, Dalish with an arrow fletching poking out of her mouth and a half-finished shaft in her hands.  Krem held out two bracelets.

“Which one?” he hissed.

“Green one,” Rocky called without looking up from the axe he was polishing.  “S’got bigger rocks.”

Krem leveled a glare at the dwarf.  “There’s a reason I didn’t ask you, Rocky.”

“Lose the bracelets, get her a knife,” Skinner growled as she examined a slim blade in her hand.  She tossed it and caught it deftly by the hilt.  “Girls love knives.  Can’t kill a man with a bracelet.  Not without getting creative.”

“There’s a reason I didn’t ask you either, Skinner.”

Dalish giggled and took the arrow fletching out of her mouth.  “They’re both pretty, Krem.  She’ll love either one.”

Krem cursed under his breath and leaned back in his seat.  He shot a glance at the bush where Grim stood wordlessly.  “What about you, Grim?  Any unhelpful advice?”

Grim squinted.  “Ungh.”

Stitches sighed heavily and put down his sewing.  He leaned over the table, picking up both bracelets.  “Which one means more to _you,_ Krem?” he said tiredly.

Krem hesitated.  “ … I bought the green one in Val Royeaux.  I thought –”  He shuffled in his chair and crossed his arms, lowering his voice.  “ … Thought it looked like her eyes.”

“And the cuff?”

“Got that one off a dead Venatori a while back.”  Krem sighed.  “Romantic, right?”

“Killing bad guys?” Skinner grunted.  “Romantic enough for me.”

“It just reminded me of something I had as a kid,” Krem rambled.  “A piece of jewelry that felt like armor.  Used to wear it and pretend I was a knight.”

Dalish smiled, plucked the cuff out of Stitches’ hand, and handed it to Krem.  “That’s the one,” she assured him.

Krem turned the simple silverite cuff over in his hands.  “You sure?”

“No, but you are.”  Dalish had a dreamy look in her eye.  “Kiss her when you give it to her, and it’ll be perfect.”

“And then forget the bracelet and give her a knife instead,” Skinner added dryly.

Krem stood up, hugging the cuff to his chest.  “Dalish, Stitches, you’re invaluable.”  He turned to the others.  “Rocky, Skinner, Grim – you’re assholes.”

“Should have gone with the bigger rocks,” Rocky huffed.

“Ungh,” said Grim.

Krem tossed them a mock salute and strode away from the group, whistling to himself as he crossed the green yard.

—-

The silverite bracelet was cool and smooth against Krem’s bare back as Merrill clung to him like a lifeline, her trembling fingers digging into his muscles as they flexed.

“A-ahhhhh–”

Krem captured her moans in a kiss, one strong arm holding her close while the other hand danced between her legs.  The sheets had long since been kicked off the bed by the heated tangle of two bodies, the firelight flickering over bare skin as they embraced.

Merrill muffled a frantic whine against Krem’s lips and her back arched off the bed.  Krem deepened the kiss as she rode out her pleasure on his hand.  He waited until she was shivering and whimpering and breathless before pulling back.

Merrill stared up at him with raw, disheveled desire as she caught her breath.  Her cheeks were rosy, her smile lopsided.  “ _Ar lath, vhenan_ ,” she breathed.

Krem smiled.  “I know what that means.”

“Mmm.  Do you know what _this_ means?”  Merrill leaned towards his ear and whispered a string of dalish words that Krem had never heard before.  She pulled back with a scandalized squeak and a giggle.

“ … No, but now I want to,” Krem teased.

Merrill purred and kissed his shoulder.  “I could show you,” she murmured.  Her fingers trailed down his tense belly, over the muscle and the scars, finally slipping between his legs.  Krem’s eyes slid closed and a soft groan slipped out of him.

“Mmmh.  Teach me more dalish words,” he murmured into her hair.  His breath hitched and he gripped her slim shoulders tighter as her fingers moved.  “ _Mmmmh_ – ”

“It means, ‘I want to feel the rush of your desire,” Merrill whispered.  “‘I want to be yours completely, to press close to you and make you –’”  Merrill’s words stumbled as Krem nipped her ear.  “Mmh, th-the next word doesn’t have a direct translation – ”

“T-try,” Krem begged breathlessly.

Merrill’s words tickled his neck as her body moved under him, her slim fingers playing his body like a song until he could barely breathe.

“… It means ‘I want you to feel my love as a physical sensation,’” Merrill murmured, “brief but all-consuming like a strong drink, crashing through the body like waves, I want you to be swept up in the knowledge of how I feel about you – ”

Krem buried his face in Merrill’s neck and his hips bucked as he came.  He shuddered against her, moaning against her soft skin, holding her tight but never hard enough to bruise.  He was still gasping for air as her lips found his, and as her lips locked over his, he found he could wait to catch his breath a little longer.

“A-amatus,” Krem sighed against her lips as they parted.

Merrill blinked.  “ … Amatus?”

Krem’s heart skipped.  He ducked his head into her neck to hide his red face.  “Sorry, uh… that slipped out,” he mumbled into the crook of her neck.

“Is that a Tevine word?”  Merrill pushed him back so he could see her bright smile.  “What does it mean?”

Krem slid his hand through her hair slowly.  His heart was still racing, his fingers still tingling, and he still hadn’t found his way out of her eyes.

“It means _ar lath, vhenan,_ ” he murmured.


End file.
